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Cult Of Personality

23 Mar

Asherah Goddesses

Asherah’s connection to Yahweh, according to Stavrakopoulou, is spelled out in both the Bible and an 8th century B.C. inscription on pottery found in the Sinai desert at a site called Kuntillet Ajrud.

“The inscription is a petition for a blessing,” she shares. “Crucially, the inscription asks for a blessing from ‘Yahweh and his Asherah.’ Here was evidence that presented Yahweh and Asherah as a divine pair. And now a handful of similar inscriptions have since been found, all of which help to strengthen the case that the God of the Bible once had a wife.” – Discovery News

It’s always interesting to see these odd bits of history rise up from the dust.

I sometimes feel like humanity has left itself an array of sticky notes, hidden in books and behind pictures, and then forgotten about them; or, with items like this, the glue has gone dry, and the thing has fallen down to lay beneath a La-Z-Boy that rarely gets moved while vacuuming.

Anyhow, I mention it because my guess is that these aren’t so much massive theological discoveries, as they are the remnants of early fanboys. This, to me, reeks of a situation you’ll find common in the depths of geek-havens: “Buffy/Asherah is so strong and beautiful, but Superman/Yahweh is wicked powerful. If only we could bring the two together somehow!”

When a fanfic like that catches on, you might find entire (web/archeological) sites dedicated to it, and both the clergy, and the trufans, tend to have the same reaction – “Sacrilege!”

A Sad Bit Of Googlery

17 Mar

Map Search For Fukushima
I just wanted to share this unfortunate bit of ad-symmetry, although the one-and-a-half star review may be a little high at this point.

Oh, That Guy

9 Jan

Come with me for another stroll down Random Trivia Lane.

Are you familiar with the Hitchcock film Rear Window?

I bet you’re familiar with the man in this picture, or at least his son.
The Musician in Rear Window (and some other guy)No, not the fellow with the ethereal glow, that’s the film’s director making his usual cameo – no, the other, the musician who spends the film composing a song entitled “Lisa”.

That composer is the original lead singer of one of the most commercially successful vocal groups of the last half century, and yet you likely wouldn’t recognize his voice if you heard it.

His name is Ross Bagdasarian, Sr., and I’ll let wikipedia dispense his legend:

According to his son, Ross Bagdasarian, Jr., they were down to their last $200 when Bagdasarian spent $190 on a V-M tape recorder that would allow him to vary tape speeds.

This monstrously large hit was the result (there’s a bit of an intro, feel free to skip through the first 40 seconds or so):

The first Chipmunk record, “The Chipmunk Song,” had Bagdasarian doing all the voices. (The spoken coda, when played slowly, reveals Bagdasarian enacting the roles of Theodore, Simon, and Alvin.) Thereafter, most of his Chipmunk records used female voice artists, recorded only about 1/4 slower than the normal playback speed. – wikipedia

– that is, until he died of a heart attack in 1972.

Like so many dynasties, the Chip-mantle was eventually taken up by his namesake, Ross Bagdasarian Jr., who, if you’re like me and know the Chipmunks best through the endlessly re-rerun 1980s cartoon, you may be most familiar with as the voice of Dave and the rodents – except for Theodore and The Chipettes, who were played by his wife, Janice Karman.

Before the show, however, Bagdasarian Jr. released a comeback album. His choice of platform for the beloved family property?

Chipmunk Punk.

I’ll let the boys play me out with a song about a drunk driver seducing a lady:

News Flash

5 Jan

Sometimes CNN has questions, and, usually, I have answers.
Alec Baldwin the politician?Sure, why not give his brothers further reason to wish they were him.

Nancy GraceI realize this isn’t a question, but it is a description of every single Nancy Grace news-piece ever produced.
Ever tried French dining?Sure, that’s when you eat with someone else’s tongue in your mouth, right?

Just say “what?”

15 Dec

Drugs - do you know where they'll take you?I’m certainly not encouraging drug use, and I realize this must be one of those locally targeted ads given the .ca domain, but while utilizing I was confused by this stalled out video.

What are they trying to imply, that drugs are going to take me to bed and tell me a good joke?

Good News & Bad News

12 Dec

The good news is that friend of the site, Ray, has posted up the first in his series of Walker Journals!

Click through, subscribe, and give the man encouragement for his hard work.

The bad news is that FlashCast 02 is being delayed due to holiday-related commitments. Hopefully we’ll be able to record it after tomorrow’s Flash Pulp, but, if not, it may have to wait till Tuesday.

Rotten Fail

8 Dec

This is a quick screen-grab I took of the front page of a popular movie review site.
Rotten Tomatoes FailDid they simply run out of room to type professional? Is this a thing we are doing now*?

Wait, “He’s plays”?

Get a cup of coffee and try again, Rotten Tomatoes.

*No, no it is not.

TV Dinner

8 Dec

Nightmare SausageWhat ever happened to the trope of the “bad food” nighttime hallucination? It seemed like there was an era when any television-based father figure who ate a sausage and took a nap, while suffering some sort of moral quandary, would have their rest interrupted by a roaming hallucinatory spirit, or alternate-universe versions of their own children.

Cliff Huxtable eats a hoagie and bam, he’s suffering the delusion that Theo is dropping out of school and Rudy is climbing up his leg with a knife clenched between her teeth.
Huxtable and a Hoagie
For the youngsters in the crowd who might be doubting that this sort of thing happened, allow me to quote a snippet from, regarding The Cosby Show, season 6, episode 8.

Cliff dreams that the eruption of a volcano in Peru has sent spores into the drinking water and caused men to become pregnant. Cliff, Elvin, Martin and Theo are all pregnant. Theo deals with stares and unkind comments because he is an “unwed father.”

Was ergot poisoning just a lot more common back then?

The Cos wasn’t the only one to suffer through this situation (repeatedly) though, I’m fairly sure that this gag was used in quite a few shows to help grease the wheels for a seasonal ripping off of “A Christmas Carol” – heck, if I recall correctly, the entire run of Newhart was blamed on some bad “Japanese food” in the final episode.
Newhart finaleI’m reminded of this Mitch Hedburg quotation:

I hate dreaming. Because when you sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work, you know – there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord. I want a dream of me watching myself sleep.

The Freshest Zombie (A Very Short Film)

7 Dec

Big props to friend of the site, Ray, for this little movie he shot last summer, The Freshest Zombie.

This isn’t the project I teased in FlashCast 001, but hopefully if we clap hard enough for this one, the other will be arriving shortly.

CNN Has Questions (and Turkey)

30 Nov

Periodically gets confused about who’s asking the questions, and who’s supposed to be answering them, so I pitch in a helping hand to clear up the confusion.

Uh, I believe it’s a right and then another right at the desert. Wait, no, maybe it’s a right and then – hmm.

You know what? Let me check Google maps and get back to you.

Anderson Cooper is actually already on his way over to your house to cough on your meal, so, unfortunately, yes.

CNN Front pageAye, you’ve got to punch them in their bad wing.

CNN Front pageThis isn’t actually a question, but it is a perfect example of why you want to be sure to kill and pluck your turkey before attempting to deep fry it.