CNN Asks: Jewel-Encrusted Albinos & Body Image

7 Mar

Occasionally CNN becomes entirely slack-jawed – at those times, I step in to assist.

How can I get my toddler to eat more?

Cancel that poor baby’s subscriptions to Cosmo and Vogue – popular media just gives them an unrealistic portrayal of infant body-shape.

Got a question for Matt?

Yes. Who are you, Matt?

Analysis: A chance for US to bash Iran?

Analysis? Chance to bash Iran? This sounds a lot like the US was on the receiving end of some zinger, and it only came up with a decent rejoinder after the moment had passed.

Iran: “Your capitalistic secularism has created long term instability in our region.”
US: “That’s what she said!”

Who's buying homes? The rich

Thanks for rubbing it in, CNN. I eagerly anticipate next week’s article: “Who’s buying a rocket-powered motorbike to jump over a string of fifty jewel-encrusted albinos, only to land in a pool filled with money? The rich.”

Just how bad is the iPad 2 camera?

Pretty bad. It’s rumored in some circles that the iPad 2 camera spent most of the late-’80s helping run Baby Doc Duvalier’s regime in Haiti.

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2 Responses to “CNN Asks: Jewel-Encrusted Albinos & Body Image”

  1. bmj2k March 7, 2011 at 15:35 #

    US: “The jerk store called. They’re running out of you!”
    Iran: “So what? You’re their all-time best seller!”
    US: (whole body shakes in impotant anger)

    • JRD Skinner March 7, 2011 at 15:42 #

      “Jerk store is the line! Jerk store!”

      Very nice, laughed loud enough to wake my work-neighbours.

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