Christmas Fear

22 Dec

Last night I was watching Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, as I’m wont to do around this time of year, and I noticed something.

Here’s a modern representation of one of the show’s classic characters.
Yukon Cornelius FigureSure, everyone loves Yukon Cornelius, but something is missing.
Yukon Cornelius with friend
Figure it out?

Here’s the truth about Cornelius: the man packs heat.

We don’t allow the characters in children’s shows to carry guns anymore, as demonstrated by the infamous erasing of weaponry in ET, and, in a way, it’s a bit of a shame, as I think some of the magic we’ve lost in children’s films is due to the disconnect with reality.

When we attempt to create an excessively padded play-space, we may accidentally teach kids that there are no such things as knives – then, when they do encounter them, they have no respect for the gravitas of the situation, and they end up throwing them at each other.

Still, the reality is, if you came across a fellow carrying a knife, a hatchet, and a handgun, in the middle of a blizzard, you’d probably just let him go on rambling about the abominable snowman as you departed at top speed.
Abominable Snowman

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5 Responses to “Christmas Fear”

  1. bmj2k December 22, 2010 at 14:23 #

    You;ve got this one right.
    And did you notice that the new version is much thinner? Can’t have any fat role models, can we?

    • JRD Skinner December 22, 2010 at 14:52 #

      That’s a great point, that first Cornelius is lookin’ mighty trim. Nothing like freezing to death in the Arctic in the name of fashion.

      • bmj2k December 22, 2010 at 20:02 #

        I keep telling my girlfriend, that extra layer of fat has an important purpose!

  2. Jeff December 22, 2010 at 18:14 #

    This is tragic! I had no idea that weapons had been banned from children’s cartoons. Do kids still play Cowboy’s & Indians or has that been deemed politically incorrect? I suppose the Kill Bill franchise is completely out of the question …

    • JRD Skinner December 22, 2010 at 18:38 #

      They do, but the game largely revolves around Texans attempting to get tech support out of overseas call-centers.

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