Crime Never Bids

9 Jul

Hardy, a friend of mine who has a spider-sense for odd Canadiana, sent me this gubmint auction link.

I’ve seen my share of government auctions – I was expecting seized Honda Civics and grow-op houses – but no, this is actually general surplus, so it’s not JUST the former possessions of the incarcerated. (Although, yeah, there’s plenty of that too.)

Stretcher

One stretcher, slightly used? Yikes.

20,000 Straws

I don’t know where these came from – but I love the understated nature of the picture. At first I couldn’t figure out why the government was wasting my tax money trying to sell straws and plastic lids, but then I realized it’s actually 20,000 of each. That’s a lot of straw wrappers to blow at people.

Diamond Chips

I know what I said about seized assets, but wouldn’t you want to play International Super Spy with a bag full of real diamond chips?

Just pretend they weren’t actually wrenched out of old ladies’ ring-settings by a meth-head B&E specialist using a pair of rusty needle nose pliers.

My Hovercraft Is Full Of EeeeelsI actually WANT to believe this is a seized asset – that somewhere there’s a crime lord that once shouted: “Oh no, the cops! Quick boys, to the hovercraft!”

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